Cubs Fantasy Camp, Part One

Holy fucking shit.

If you had told me back in 1984 that there would eventually be a night where I would totally "bro down" with Bob Dernier — and Randy Hundley, and Pete LaCock — I, well, I don't know if I could have even processed that. I'm not sure that I can even process it now...

I began my journey to Randy Hundley's Chicago Cubs fantasy camp in Mesa, Arizona this AM about 30 mins later than I'd planned; I was just about to get on the 10 when I realized that I'd left my batting gloves back at the house, and had to turn back around to go and retrieve them. But everything else was smooth as silk Kessler: Cranked the Byrds all the way to the AZ border, because the SoCal deserts look extra pretty when soundtracked by McGuinn's 12-string and their glowing harmonies, then switched over to my iPod's spaghetti western playlist when I hit Arizona. It's amazing how different the terrain looks from the one state to the other; it's been a good eight years since I've driven into Arizona, and it made me smile to see all the saguaro cacti standing guard like silent sentries...

Stopped in Chiriaco Summit for a late breakfast, and had a decent batch of corned beef hash, eggs and hash browns down the road from the General Patton Museum. Didn't have time to go in, but did walk over to take a look at the various tanks and other military vehicles in its yard, as well as the statue of the General and his dog; note also the fractured tank tread, which I'm guessing is emblematic of a life cut short.

Got to the hotel around 5; the 6 pm meet-and-greet was postponed untuil 7:15 due to the Saints-Vikings game, and then unofficially delayed further because the game went into overtime. Finally, somewhere around 8 (or 9; I don't know, I'd already had a few beers at that point), Randy Hundley took the podium in the banquet room to welcome everyone to the camp. Randy (pictured below) is old-school in the extreme, steadfastly refusing to swear (even though he said "poop" and "fanny" about a million times), and even at one point accusing Larry Biitner of "throwing like a gay guy" during one of his many anecdotes. Wow.

The list of coaches at this year's camp includes the aforementioned Bittner, Rick Reuschel (looking way more svelte than back in the days when he was known as "The Whale"), Don Kessinger, Glenn Beckert (with whom Hundley engaged in some serious good-natured shit-giving during the opening proceedings), Ron Coomer, Willie Wilson, Leon Durham, Pete LaCock, Keith Moreland, Bob Dernier, Jody Davis, Jose Cardenal (sans gigantic 'fro, sadly), Carmen Fanzone and several others (including Fergie Jenkins) who will be showing up tomorrow. Maybe most of these names don't mean much to you; but if you're a Cubs fan of a certain age, well, this is pretty fucking awesome. Each of these former players will be coaching a "team" this week, though I won't know which team I'm on until we get to the Cubs' facilities this AM and pick up our uniforms, etc. The one big bummer (for me at least) is that Joe Pepitone couldn't make the scene; I guess he'd promised Randy that he'd come, then bailed at the last minute. "Joe Pepitone can kiss my hillbilly fanny," remarked Hundley. Gotta say I'm with him on that one...

After the initial welcoming ceremonies, it was time to hit the bar and annoy the ex-players with probing questions about their lives and careers. I had a cool chat with Hundley about playing in pain under Leo Durocher during all those day games, in one case specifically because he didn't want to miss the chance to play on national TV. Pete LaCock told me about growing up as the son of Hollywood Squares host Peter Marshall, and all that came with it — including the fact that Sammy Davis Jr. was his godfather. (And did you know that Paul Lynde and Wayland Flowers were lovers for the better part of two decades? You do now.) He also told me about having to ice his feet between innings when he was on the Kansas City Royals, because the field temperature on Kauffman Stadium's artificial turf could get up to 140 degrees.,,

Best of all, I had an absolutely amazing rap with the aforementioned Mr. Dernier about the '84 Cubs, the recreational proclivities of players in those days, and about the prospects in the current Cubs organization. (Yes, I've had a lot to drink, but let's just say that he made a VERY convincing case for a Cubs team that's going to be a powerhouse circa 2012 -- you know, just in time for the end of the world!) Also met some really cool "campers," most of whom share similar Cubs love/damage. I think I'm really gonna like it here...

Comments

[Stu]

Fucking awesome, indeed. You're with my heroes down there, which means you are now one of my heroes.

[Don]

I am insanely jealous. I've been to the camp the last two years and just couldn't get there this time. I was the fat guy pitcher on the Smith/Davis team that won last year's camp. As for Pepitone- yeah, he's a fuck up, and it sounds like he's proven it again, but all in all, you're not missing much, sad to say.

[Don]

Here's a summary I did of last year's camp.

http://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2009/2/7/752357/2009-randy-hundley-fantasy

[Dan E]

Right on, Don! Thanks for sharing - I'm looking forward to reading this. More updates to come!

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with golgen age Cubbies. Enjoy, ya bastard!

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