Cubs Fantasy Camp, Part Six

It's Saturday morning in Mesa, and the folks at the lame-ass Dobson Ranch Inn (beautiful sunrise from my window pictured above) still can't figure out how to get their internet working — so I'm once again posting from the Starbucks across the street. Seriously, what kind of horseshit establishment can't provide a decent reliable hook-up in this day and age? The same one that actually told one of my teammates with a straight face that the hotel's guests caused their internet to crash by visiting too many "bad sites" at the same time. And the same one that thought it sensible to close the hotel bar on a Friday night before we even got back from dinner...

Anyway, yesterday was yet another day of remarkable joys and deep frustrations. We really wanted to win our AM game against Jody Davis and Jose Cardenal's team — not because we were still in contention for the camp championship (they were, we weren't), but because several of our guys overheard their players talking shit about us in the showers on Thursday. "We don't have to worry about them — they're no good," was the general gist of their loudly expressed sentiments; and when we actually faced them, they turned out to have more overly-serious blowhards on their roster than the asshole Giants team we played on Wednesday.

Well, long story short, we lost 9-8 — but not before that "no good" Dernier-Lynch team gave 'em a good scare, leading by three runs or more for most of the game before falling apart in the bottom of the fifth inning. We almost took the lead again in the final inning, and might have won if our iron man catcher Larry Malcomson had been in the lineup; unfortunately, with his knee now blown up like a grapefruit, he has to sit out for the first time in something like 27 years of Cubs camp. 

We got killed our final game of the "season," a rubber-game rematch against our pals Moreland-Coomer, who were equally out of contention. The game was marked by a number of odd and amusing incidents, including the fly ball to right that fell exactly between myself and Jeff Thrall while — both of us immobilized by hurtin' legs — we watched each other watching the ball fall between us. I could barely run at all yesterday afternoon, but I somehow started hitting again. I went 3 for 4 in my final game: A "seeing eye" grounder through the middle, a line-shot off the pitching machine, and a Texas Leaguer to center, all for singles. Of course, in the interest of journalistic accuracy, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I had Mike Beehner, the oldest guy on the team, pinch-run for me...

The weirdest thing that happened, though, was a late-innings incident where, with one out and a runner on first, a batter hit a bounding ball up the middle. Paul, our amazing shortstop (pictured above) cut to his left to grab it while I tried to cover the bag — but at that exact moment, a long foul ball from a game at the adjacent field landed between us, bouncing as high as the original grounder. For a second there, it was like being trapped in the middle of a pinball game or powerball lottery machine. Paul grabbed the closest ball to him, stepped on second, and gunned it to first for the double play. We'll never know if he grabbed the right one.

Afterwards, our team and Moreland-Coomer went out for a fine feast at Ruth's Chris in Phoenix, where I had another great convo with Bobby Dernier, and got to rap at length with Keith Moreland for the first time. I found out that not only do "Zonk" and I share a love for James Brown and soul music in general, but we also share the same birthday, albeit 13 years apart. Here we are, flashing some Taurus horns.

Awright, gotta run. Today's the "Big Game" where the campers play the pros at Hohokam Stadium. The campers have only won once in the entire history of the camp; we mean to double that "W" total today.

Comments

[Don]

Hope you have a blast at Ho Ho Kam. Yes, Dobson Ranch sucks. Randy's trying to keep expenses down, but still....... If Lori Socki's there, she'd likely appreciate knowing about the crap they've pulled, if she doesn't know already. They closed the bar last year, too.

After the banquet last year, this is what happened in the bar:

http://www.azcentral.com/ent/music/feedback/articles/02080206eddievedderkaraoke.html

I've really enjoyed reading your posts each day. Thank you very much, as it's allowed me to live vicariously through you. It's like I'm still there, but YOU get all the aches and pains.

I really want to make it back once or twice more before Randy packs it in. It's worth the money, the injuries and even the bad "hotel". As it is, I'll be in Mesa in March for Spring Training. if you haven't done that before, it's a gas as well.

[Dan E]

Hey, Don -

Yeah, Lori's still there, and she's well aware of the various Dobson Dump deficiencies - not least because this blog has quickly made the rounds among campers and their families and friends back home.

While I agree that the experience is totally worth the money, I won't be returnng if it means having to stay at that crummy "resort" again — and I talked to many campers over the last few days who expressed the same sentiment. I get that Randy's trying to keep expenses down, but surely there must be other establishments in the vicinity that can accommodate the campers, coaches and their various needs better than the Dobson Ranch Inn — and probably for not that many more bucks.

Anyway, I'm glad you've been digging the posts, Don. I've got a couple more coming, which of course were delayed by the lack of a working internet!